When someone shared with me the concept of living in the question, not the answer, I felt like my mind exploded. For the entirety of my life until that point, I believed I had to have the answer to everything and prided myself on knowing what was going to happen next. Of course, nobody knows what’s going to happen next. But I thought that by mapping out my future, I had control over where I was going and what would happen. I know now that’s not true.
If someone had told me a decade ago to “live in the question,” I would have scoffed at them. How silly—why would I do that? Fast forward to the present: after having done an enormous amount of inner and spiritual healing, I finally get it. I take pleasure in not knowing the answer, allowing the Universe to surprise and excite me in its infinite ways.
Dictating the “how” actually prevents you from getting what you want. People feel safe being attached to outcomes, but deciding in your mind how things can happen blocks true abundance from flowing into your life. To live in the question is to embrace uncertainty, cultivate curiosity, and foster a mindset open to possibilities rather than constrained by definitive answers.
The Illusion of Certainty
Modern society places immense value on knowledge and expertise. We are often rewarded for having the right answers and penalized for ambiguity or uncertainty. It creates a mindset from a young age that you always need to know the answer. What is more important than knowing the answer is being able to distinguish between the things that are certain, and those that are not.
Two plus two equals four. That’s certain. If you go outside in the rain without anything to cover you, you’ll get wet. That’s certain. It’s easy to see with those examples. It’s not as easy for people with most other things in their lives. Humans have such a limited view of the ways things can happen for them and what their options are for living their best lives.
When I work with clients, they often have very limiting views about next steps they can take in their lives. It’s this or that. Option A or option B. They have already decided that these two (three, or however many) options are the only options. But what if there was a completely different option that you never even thought of? Or an option that you didn’t consider because you didn’t think it was available to you? Being able to live in the question and not dictate the answer IS the answer to a happier, stress-free life.
This bias towards certainty stifles creativity and limits your ability to navigate complex problems. Certainty, after all, is often an illusion. The more you learn, the more you realize the vastness of what you do not know. Living in the question means acknowledging this reality and being comfortable with it.
The Power of Questions
Questions are the bedrock of discovery and innovation. They drive us to explore, to dig deeper, and to challenge the status quo. Living in the question requires a shift from seeking quick solutions to embracing the process of inquiry. It involves asking open-ended questions that do not have immediate or straightforward answers.
For example, if I ask someone to tell me the ways they can get clients, they may rattle off a few things like my website, referrals or word of mouth, social media, and networking. Perhaps those are the ways clients have come to that person in the past, so they believe that’s how they will continue to get clients. There are infinite ways people can get clients. If I asked that person to come up with 100 ways to get clients, I know it would be a challenging task. Humans are not programmed to think of all the possibilities and the ways things can go right. They limit themselves and think of all the ways things can go wrong.
You don’t have to be able to conceptualize 100 ways clients can come to you to get more clients. That is a useful task because it will provide evidence for you of all the ways it can happen in your life, if you’re open to the opportunities. Just becoming clear on the fact that you don’t have all the answers can greatly change the way things come into your life. The simple shift from “I can only get clients in these ways” to “I’m open to all the ways clients can come to me, even if I can’t conceptualize it,” is enough. It’s really that simple. Being open to possibilities outside what you can think, or dream, will create a shift in your life and reality.
Personal Growth and Self-Discovery
Living in the question also has profound implications for personal growth and self-discovery. Life’s most meaningful journeys are rarely linear or predictable. They are filled with twists, turns, and unexpected detours. Embracing this uncertainty allows us to grow and evolve in ways we might not have anticipated. People are afraid of change and the unknown, even though things are changing all the time.
Consider the question, “Who am I?” This is not a question that can be answered definitively. Our identities are complex, multifaceted, and constantly evolving. By continually asking this question, we engage in an ongoing process of self-reflection and growth. We remain open to new experiences, perspectives, and ways of understanding ourselves and the world around us.
Building Resilience
Embracing uncertainty also builds resilience. In a world where change is the only constant, the ability to adapt and thrive amidst uncertainty is crucial. When you live in the question, you develop a mindset that is flexible and adaptable. You learn to navigate uncertainty with confidence, knowing that the answers you seek may not come immediately, but the process of exploration is valuable.
By reframing setbacks as opportunities for learning, you can cultivate resilience through continuous inquiry and exploration. This mindset encourages flexibility in problem-solving and a willingness to experiment, ultimately strengthening their ability to bounce back from adversity. It’s important to have goals and take action towards them, without being so attached to the outcome(s). This will help you when things do not go your way, which is inevitable.
Practical Steps to Live in the Question
Cultivate Curiosity: Foster a curious mindset by regularly asking questions and seeking out new experiences. Approach life with a child-like sense of wonder and a desire to learn.
Embrace Ambiguity: Accept that not all questions have clear or immediate answers. Learn to be comfortable with ambiguity and uncertainty. You don’t need to know the “why” to everything.
Practice Reflective Inquiry: Make time for reflection and introspection. Ask yourself open-ended questions about your goals, beliefs, and experiences. Journaling can be a helpful tool for this practice.
Engage in Active Listening: When engaging with others, listen deeply and ask thoughtful questions. This not only enriches your understanding but also fosters meaningful connections.
Experiment and Iterate: In your personal and professional life, adopt a mindset of experimentation. Try new approaches, learn from failures, and continuously iterate.
Seek Diverse Perspectives: Engage with people and ideas that challenge your assumptions. This broadens your perspective and opens new avenues of inquiry.
Meditate on Questions: Incorporate meditation or mindfulness practices that focus on questions rather than answers. This can help you cultivate a sense of peace amidst uncertainty.
Listen to the Universe: Nothing is a coincidence; everything is a synchronicity. Life is happening for you. You are getting messages from unseen energies that are trying to help you live your most joyful, aligned life, but you are likely ignoring them, instead choosing to “think” your way through everything.
Challenges and Misconceptions
Living in the question is not without its challenges. It can be uncomfortable and even anxiety-inducing to embrace uncertainty, especially in a society that prizes certainty and quick solutions. There is also the misconception that living in the question means being indecisive or avoiding responsibility. However, this practice is not about shirking decisions but about making more thoughtful and informed ones.
It’s important to strike a balance between questioning and action. While it is valuable to explore possibilities and challenge assumptions, there comes a time when decisions must be made and actions taken. The key is to approach decision-making with a mindset that is open to learning and adaptable to change.
A World of Possibilities
Living in the question rather than the answer is a transformative practice that uncovers a world of possibilities. It invites you to embrace uncertainty, cultivate curiosity, and engage deeply with the process of inquiry. In a world that often values quick solutions, this practice offers a refreshing and empowering alternative. By living in the question, you embark on a journey of discovery and growth that leads to deeper wisdom and a more meaningful life.
So, embrace the questions that life presents. I’ve learned that it takes the pressure off when I trust in the Universe and allow things to easily flow into my life.
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